It’s not that I’m not excited for Horton Hears a Who! to come out in a couple of weeks, because I actually am. Despite my well-documented curmudgeonry when it comes to favorite books being made into movies, I have high hopes for this one. C’mon—Steve Carrell! Carol Burnett, for pete’s sake. My hopes are high indeed.
And we just passed Dr. Seuss’ birthday, too. (Theodor Geisel was born on March 2nd, 1904.) In fact, allow me to recommend that you and the kids visit Seussville if you haven’t, before.
So this is not about hating on the movie or the book or the story or anything like that.
No, this is about egregious errors in marketing. Or—to put it more plainly—stupid things that make you go, “Huh?”
Are you lost yet? Well, it seems that IHOP and Horton Hears a Who! have formed a promotional partnership:
From March 3 through April 20, IHOP restaurants will add four new Horton-themed menu items — Beezlenut Splash, Who-Cakes, Mayor’s Breakfast and Jo-jo’s Kid’s Breakfast. The new film opens at theaters nationwide on March 14.
Sounds good, right? I mean, what fun! I actually own the Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook and the kids love cooking out of it, so I’m completely down with the idea of making some fun, Seuss-themed foods for the kiddos. If IHOP can get in on the action, so much the better for them.
And it sounds pretty good, here:
The Mayor’s Breakfast includes a clever play on Dr. Seuss’ legendary “green eggs & ham” — eggs scrambled with spinach, ham strips, hash browns and a choice of Who-Cakes or IHOP’s original buttermilk pancakes.
You might even be tricking some picky eaters into trying spinach with that one, methinks. But my genial attitude went out the window right about here:
Who-Cakes, named after the “Whos” who live on a speck of dust, are a colorful stack of IHOP’s shortcake pancakes in all shapes and sizes covered with real boysenberry and blueberry glaze, rainbow chocolate chips and a pink lollipop.
Seriously? Seriously? Who is going to buy that for their child? Pancakes covered in glaze, topped with chocolate chips and a lollipop? Would it not just be easier to pour out a sack of sugar and call it a day?
Maybe I’m just being a stick-in-the-mud (albeit a stick in the mud of nutrition), but that really feels like overkill to me. I’m pretty sure we can be excited about the movie without any diabetic comas, thanks.
It could just be that I missed the part of the story where all of the Whos don’t have any teeth left, I suppose….