Did you hear that? It was the sound of millions of little girls’ minds exploding with glee.

The hotly anticipated 3D Hannah Montana movie is premiering in theaters tonight, and if you know a tween girl, you know all about it. In fact, you’ve probably been hearing about it for months. You probably envision browsing the Ty’s Toy Box Hannah Montana Store in your sleep, and you are probably looking forward to the day when that special little girl in your life becomes too cool for Hannah Montana, and instead develops an interest in boys.

Ha!

Anyway, the big news is that yesterday—a day before it opened—the movie set a new record for ticket presales:

The 3D movie, which features a filmed concert by “Hannah Montana” singer-actress Miley Cyrus, opens on Thursday at midnight in 684 digital 3D theaters, a Disney spokeswoman said.

Fandango.com and MovieTickets.com, the top online ticket sellers, said “Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert” accounted for more than three-quarters of their ticket sales as of Wednesday morning.

Fandango.com said “Hannah Montana” was the site’s best-selling concert film ever, selling out more than 1,000 showings and accounting for 91 percent of sales as of Wednesday morning.

MovieTickets.com reports that the film ranked eighth on its all-time presale list and was tracking at nearly 90 percent of sales on Wednesday.

(What was that recent study, about women controlling 85% of the spending in this economy? Did that include tween girls, do you think?)

Well, now it just remains to be seen if the movie lives up to the hype. Not that a gaggle of tween girls is likely to complain about their pop idol.

This just leaves me with two questions:

1) What, exactly, is it about a rock concert that calls for this thing to be in 3D?
and
2) Who decided that pretty little Miley Cyrus wasn’t marketable enough as a fresh-faced brunette, and then elected to turn her into a Hilary Duff clone? (And this is even more confusing now that Duff has gone brunette, I have to say.)

You remember WHAM-O, don’t you? Oh, heck—you don’t even have to remember them, because their products are still around. What I mean when I ask if you remember is whether or not you remember the commercials on TV, when we were growing up.

Oh, how I wanted a Slip ‘N Slide. (From WHAM-O!) I never did get one, as a child. Of course as soon as my own children were old enough, I went right out and bought them one, then busted it out on a hot Summer afternoon as if I’d just personally transported Heaven here to our backyard. They played on it for about five minutes before complaining that the grass was sticking to them. I tried not to cry.

Anyway, WHAM-O holds the trademark to many of the toys we grew up loving. Hacky sacks! Frisbees! Hula Hoops! The infamous Slip ‘N Slide! And each and every one allowed you to intone “… from WHAM-O!” back when we were kids. Nowadays children will just look at you funny if you do that. Trust me.

And now—finally—it seems that WHAM-O has run out of ideas. Oh, just kidding. I’m sure they have plenty of ideas, but they also want some more. So they’re having a Kid Inventor Contest wherein your child can attempt to come up with the next big thing for WHAM-O. Details, including rules and submission forms, can be found on the site. Entries are due by March 31st, and WHAM-O recommends allowing two weeks for mailing, so apparently the term “snail mail” is more than a charming exaggeration, to them.

The winning kid gets $2,000! Nice, huh? But then I started thinking about how many hula hoops and frisbees and stuff WHAM-O has sold over the years, and then I went and read the fine print on the site. It appears to say that you only get the prize money if you sign a licensing contract which gives you 3% of sales in a particular territory (huh?) and then my head started to hurt and, also, I remembered that someone already invented the yo-yo.

Nevertheless, if you have a budding young inventor on your hands, you might want to check out the contest.

Ever seen those commercials for various cruises where they promise that Junior will have just as much fun as Mom and Dad, thanks to the special activities they have on board for kids? Has anyone besides me ever regarded such ads with a bit of disbelief? I mean, sure, in the commercial the kids are hanging out at the “Kids Klub” and having a blast, but we all know that in reality, little Jimmy clings to Mom’s leg and sobs while the disinterested teen in charge cracks her gum and checks her watch.

(Not that I’ve ever been on a cruise. I am just a pessimist like that.)

Anyway, who knows—maybe regular cruises really are loads of fun for little kids… but I doubt it. The Disney Cruise, sure, that makes sense as a family option that will be a big hit with kids. I get that. And now there’s another contender: Nickelodeon is hitting the high seas:

Taking place on Royal Caribbean’s Freedom of the Seas, the largest ship in the cruise industry with a capacity of more than 4,000 passengers, the “Nickelodeon Family Cruise with Royal Caribbean” will match the family-friendly amenities of Freedom of the Seas with a packed schedule of Nickelodeon activities and entertainment. The cruise will visit four exotic Western Caribbean destinations including: Cozumel, Mexico; George Town, Grand Cayman; Ocho Rios, Jamaica; and a special stop at Royal Caribbean’s private beach destination, Labadee, which will be Nickelodeon-themed.

In some ways, I could see “selling” your kids on the idea of Nickelodeon Island almost easier than Disney. Think about it—it can’t possibly be as crowded as visiting the Magic Kingdom. And the entertainment roster looks like a little kid’s delight:

The “Nickelodeon Family Cruise by Royal Caribbean” will offer an experience complete with Nick-themed on-board activities such as live game shows featuring the trademark Nickelodeon slime; visits with kids’ favorite Nick characters like Dora the Explorer and SpongeBob SquarePants; appearances by the network’s live-action stars; and much more. In addition, Freedom of the Seas offers a multitude of activities, including the FlowRider surf simulator, the H2O Zone water park, an ice skating rink, a nine-hole mini-golf course, 10-route rock-climbing wall, and full-size basketball court.

You know, I’ve always wanted to meet SpongeBob….

Reservations opened up yesterday; see the August itinerary here and start thinking about whether or not you have a suitable bathing suit, and if a life-size Dora will make your kid cry. Not necessarily in that order.

First there was the Wizard of Oz book, then the classic movie, and who can forget the Broadway musical The Wiz, right?

Dorothy and her pals make for a great story. So it should come as no surprise that an animated Oz musical is in the works:

Burbank, California-based Alpine Pictures has announced that Bonne Radford, Randi Barnes, Daniel St Pierre, and Matthew Jon Beck have all signed onto their production DOROTHY OF OZ, an animated musical based on the writings of Roger S. Baum (great-grandson of original OZ series author L. Frank Baum). The film is being produced in association with Box Office Productions III, LLC.

DOROTHY OF OZ is the first in a slated series of animated feature films by Alpine Pictures based on the writings of Baum, whose work continues the legacy of his great-grandfather through new stories of Dorothy’s adventures in the enchanted Land of Oz, and the magical friends she meets along the way.

It should not shock anyone who’s read me here for any length of time to hear that I am… less than thrilled about this development. Look, it’s not that I don’t respect Roger S. Baum’s work, it’s just that I was perfectly happy with the original. I liked the original book. (I actually liked the whole original series. Did you know there’s more than one?) I loved the movie—actually, I still love it and am happy to watch it any time it’s on TV—even though you can watch Judy Garland’s hair get longer and shorter from take to take.

An animated movie makes sense, I suppose, but I just have this dread of them screwing it up somehow. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see, and pay no attention to that production company behind the curtain.

Wasn’t it just Christmas? It seems like we just took the tree down. And watched the ball drop. But the new year, she is a harsh taskmistress… and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.

(Okay, fine, you have about three weeks to prepare. Plenty of time! No, I’m not laughing, honest!)

If you have little kids, you either already know or are about to be introduced the fun of the Box O’ Valentines. It doesn’t matter if your kids go to public or private school, it doesn’t even matter if you homeschool (or so my friends who do so tell me), if your child ever leaves the house for an organized educational-type thing, you will need to do the Valentine’s Day card thing.

When I was little, I seem to remember carefully choosing who would get which card. Oh, not the one with the bunny for the boy I thought was cute! Never! He should get the smirking puppy. Clearly. And I seem to remember that we got to pick and choose to whom we gave cards, resulting sometimes in some children getting very few (or none).

Nowadays, the good news is that most schools declare that everyone give to everyone else, so no one ends up left out. (While I am often opposed to these sorts of blanket rules, this is one I stand behind. There are plenty of opportunities for children to be cruel to one another; let’s not like some brightly-colored little cards be the agent of meanness, shall we?) The bad news is that—unlike when we were kids, and you could go choose from maybe four different varieties—there are almost limitless card choices available.

There are simple cards to be folded over and sealed with a sticker, there are cards with envelopes… nowadays there are cards meant to hold a lollipop or other treat, or small packages of candy meant to be giving in place of a card. The cards themselves can feature practically every cartoon character you might imagine, as well as various pop idols. (I’m running a pool—be sure to get your guess in before the big day; how many Hannah Montana cards do you suppose my kids will get?)

What do you do? Do you take your child to one store and have her pick something there? Do you give her free rein, no matter the choice? Do you pick something for her? Whatever your habit, if you need to buy cards for your kid, get a move on. Pretty soon only the “reject” cards will be left, and then you could have a crisis on your hands. A whining, complaining crisis.

Once again, Scholastic comes through with a great website for kids that will get them thinking. ACT GREEN! is the newest destination for families looking for ways to get inspired about environmentally responsible behavior.

Here’s what I received as part of a press release about the site:

Developed in consultation with an environmental scientist from the University of California at Berkeley, ACT GREEN! provides kids, parents and teachers with free actionable information that will help them preserve the environment. When kids enter the site, they are first directed to the Green Quiz, to test how environmentally conscious they are. Upon completing the quiz, kids receive a customized Green Plan and are automatically entered into the Greenerator, where they can activate their Green Plan and turn it into reality. As kids check off the green actions they have accomplished, they earn green points that power up the Greenerator. They can also earn green points throughout the site by selecting action items from the “100 Ways to Act Green!” list, reading articles, sending e-cards and more. Kids will enjoy tracking their own green points, as well as the overall power of the Greenerator, generated by all ACT GREEN! members.

Here’s what I suggest, as a parent: Start by checking out the section for parents—it’ll give you an overview of everything available to your kids on the site. Although the Greenerator is definitely the biggest draw (not only because your kids can work towards goals, but because they can get a sense of how many other kids around the world are doing it, too), it’s not the only feature by a long shot.

The Live Earth video clips are informative as well as chuckle-worthy. (I think the one about light bulbs is my favorite. “Most stores have signs at the ends of the aisles. Look for the one that says, ‘light bulbs.’”)

The Green Tools section has great downloadables, including tags you can put on your household objects either to mark them as being green or to remind folks to unplug them. What kid doesn’t love labeling everything?

There’s plenty more, but I’ll let you explore it for yourself. Personally, I think this sort of thing is way better than the two hundred and fifty-seventh game of Cash Cow on Webkinz, but be forewarned that your child may become concerned about saving the world after spending time on the ACT GREEN! site. That could be— well… wait a minute.

That could be pretty awesome, actually.

[Hey, it’s hard to follow up the Martin Luther King, Jr. post, okay? It’s not like I could possibly come up with anything nearly as important, so I’m afraid that produce-themed awards are all I have for you right now.]

Regular readers know that whenever I’m considering seeing a movie, my first move is always to go consult Rotten Tomatoes. Not only do they aggregate available reviews in the most entertaining way possible (why comb through dozens of reviews when you can read the funniest lines all on one page?), they provide the Tomatometer reading for every movie, giving you a quick visual on how positive or negative feedback has been, overall. (The Tomatometer is based on a 100% scale, too, which I find much more useful than a 5-star system. But I’m sort of a geek that way.)

Anyway, it’s time once again for the Golden Tomato awards; the 9th Annual Golden Tomato Awards, to be precise. With the Golden Globes having been sort of a letdown and the Academy Awards looking to be not much better (the WGA strike is really cutting into my entertainment, sheesh), I can take some small comfort in the Golden Tomatoes, perhaps. Although I always love the Golden Tomatoes because they’re based upon the best-reviewed films rather than on what people say we “should” like. The Golden Tomato winners are, quite simply, films that were universally well-received.

Ratatouille took first place for Animation, which comes as a surprise to absolutely no one.

If you need some giggles, also check out the recipients of the Moldy Tomato honor, as well. No animation appears in that category, though.

Although the Golden and Moldy Tomatoes are my favorite, I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention the 28th Annual Razzies, as well. Apparently awful films deserve raspberries in addition to moldy tomatoes. I don’t know why. But I do know that—as a mom who has never understood the Bratz craze—I felt a smug little self-satisfied bit of glee to see that the Bratz movie garnered five separate nominations. Heh.

If I ever start some movie awards, I’m thinking of naming them after avocados. Just because.

I think there’s a temptation, in our society, to become to inured to that which we celebrate by national holiday. “Oh, a day off of work/school!” we crow, without much thought to why we have the day off.

I distinctly remember having a conversation with my children, last year, about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. They’d both studied his life in school; it wasn’t that they didn’t know who he was or what he did. What came to light, during a discussion with my daughter, was that she really hadn’t grasped the reality of life before King and others fought for race equality in this country. It’s not that she hadn’t listened, it was that it was so foreign to her sphere of reference that she seemed to have categorized it as another interesting fiction.

And if that’s not testament to the amazing changes King made in our society, I don’t know what is.

Should you wish to spend some time talking to your children, today, about the holiday, the man behind it, and the history of human rights in the United States, here’s some resources for you:

Happy Martin Luther King Day, everyone!

I have lots of hypothetical television concerns on my mind these days, apparently. Let’s just go with it. It will pass eventually.

Anyway, I was surfing around the ‘net and came across this post by Diana Fischer, yesterday. In it, she discusses how her parents handled television-watching in her house as she was growing up (very little was allowed, and she felt deprived of the “good stuff,” plus there was no talk of why there were TV rules), then points out that she both allows her kids more viewing time and talks to them about why moderation is good and necessary.

The result? Her boys feel just as deprived as she did, growing up:

So, it turns out, Ace and Deuce get just enough TV regularly to want more, and enough inconsistent extra TV to realize what they’re missing out on the rest of the week. We try to explain our motivations, stressing the passivity of TV viewing, and the idea of all things in moderation. They don’t care, and why should they? Our hope is that some day this will make sense to them.

There’s more, of course, and also some really great comments from her readers, but it got me to thinking.

Here’s my professional* opinion: Kids always want more of anything they can’t have in unlimited quantities. I think that’s more or less the definition of being a kid. So I don’t think that Diana has somehow failed, here. I think that all it takes to make kids want more of something is to tell them they can’t have it.

(Though that doesn’t necessarily work with beans. In case you were wondering. Kids can smell it when you’re trying to trick them. Trust me.)

My own philosophy is similar to hers, by the way—keep the screen time to a minimum during the week, Saturday morning cartoons are not only an inalienable right of kid-dom, but they mean I get to sleep in, so you do the math.

Anyway, I do think it’s an interesting discussion. Do you suppose there’s a magic formula out there for an appropriate amount of viewing time where the child isn’t being negatively impacted, but never feels like he wants more more more? And a formula that includes slipping them Benadryl doesn’t count.

*Why yes, I’m a professional mom. I am too. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, buster, or you’ll find yourself with extra chores. I mean it.