It seems like just last week that I told you about Greg Page coming clean about his mystery illness that had him missing tour dates with the rest of The Wiggles. Now the group has finally made it official: Page is leaving the group:

SERIOUSLY ill Wiggles member Greg Page has officially departed the children’s supergroup, shattering their millions of young fans around the world.

As The Daily Telegraph revealed four weeks ago, Yellow Wiggle Page has been struck down for months with a mystery illness that doctors have been unable to diagnose.

The group – the country’s highest earning entertainers – are announcing his departure and discussing his illness at a press conference at Perth’s Burswood Dome.

They said they would make a “major announcement relating to members of the group” ahead of their Australian tour, starting at the venue.

The three other Wiggles members – Anthony Field, Murray Cook and Jeff Fatt – arrived in Perth yesterday without Page.

Sam Moran (Page’s longtime understudy) has been filling in as the Yellow Wiggle for most of 2006. Hopefully the poor guy will finally be getting some respect; because The Wiggles were so tight-lipped about Page’s condition for so long, Moran was regularly being “sprung” on unsuspecting audience members who had no idea that Page wouldn’t be appearing. Those are big yellow shoes to fill under any circumstances, but I’d imagine that facing a disgruntled and surprised crowd isn’t much fun.

As for Page’s condition, well, it remains a mystery:

Group manager Paul Field – brother of Blue Wiggle Anthony Field – said earlier this month that the condition was not cancer as had been speculated.

“Absolutely not the case,” he said.

Page at the time said doctors were yet to diagnose the health problem behind the fainting spells.

“I have had numerous bouts of this over the past eight months but they are getting more frequent, and more concerning,” he said.

“So I have decided that I must go home, rest and seek further medical advice to assure myself that I will be OK for future tours.”

I wouldn’t presume to tell someone how to conduct their medical affairs, but I’m guessing one of two things is happening here.

The first possibility is that Page’s doctors really are befuddled, eight months into a condition that causes him to regularly lose consciousness. Think about that for a minute. If this is true, I think it might be time for Page to switch doctors. Just sayin’.

The second possibility is that Page is suffering from a diagnosed ailment and doesn’t wish to share the details with the world, which is certainly his right. But in that case… there’s certainly been a lot of talk that… ummm… is misleading.

So in the first scenario, someone isn’t very bright, and in the second, someone is lying. Neither situation speaks well of what is happening here, but neither does either one change the fundamental fact that a beloved entertainer is ill. Again, best wishes to Greg Page and his family as they navigate this difficult time.

[Edited to add: Page announces he has Orthostatic Intolerance. What isn't discussed is the various underlying causes of that disorder and whether he knows what they are in his case.]

But is it wrong that I’m sort of feeling like maybe—instead of having Moran be the Yellow Wiggle stand-in—they should, I don’t know, retire the yellow shirt? Let Moran be his own Wiggle, I say. Sam the Green Wiggle, maybe. Sam the Orange Wiggle! Give the man his own shirt, people.

Ty’s Toy Box carries the largest selection of Wiggles merchandise anywhere. They’re even importing exclusive items never available outside of Australia until now. Your resident Wigglemaniac is the reason Ty’s does what it does.

Now, suppose your kids are huge Wiggles fans, and they begged and begged: “Please, Mommy, please, we want to dress up just like the Wiggles!”

And you thought about it and decided that yes, that would be fine. Heck, it’s not nearly as puffy or disruptive as dressing like the Backyardigans, and way less scary than emulating the cast of Lazy Town. Your darlings simply wanted nice bright shirts with the band logo. Piece of cake.

Except that you may have discovered that it wasn’t so simple, after all. There’s only one place in the United States, right now, to buy licensed Wiggles shirts like the band sports. If you headed right over to Ty’s, everyone ended up happy. If you went walking through your local big box stores everyone might’ve ended up empty-handed and frustrated.

And if you did get your shirts from Ty’s Toy Box, and then you went to a Wiggles show, why, you may just have ended up as happy as Amanda Vincent, who reported that she got together with some other moms and took the kids to a Wiggles concert in their official gear. Jeff noticed the kids in their shirts and came down into the audience to greet them!

Amanda snapped this photo at the Dayton, OH Wiggles show on November 7th (her son Adam is the cutie in the blue shirt):

If that’s not Wiggles nirvana for those little ones, right there, I don’t know what is.

Those shirts are so popular, Ty’s can barely keep them in stock. But have no fear! More shirts are coming, and in the meantime, more items are being added all the time. (I don’t know about you, but I am strangely attracted to this little stocking stuffer. I want to put Jeff’s head on Wags the Dog. Is that wrong?)