It was bound to happen, and now it has. TiVo is rolling out a service specifically for the underage set, and it’s even better than the V-chip, according to them:

The V-chip and your cable/satellite box have features that only block inappropriate programs, they do not find quality, age-appropriate shows for kids. TiVo KidZone allows parents to not only easily find and record the programs they already like for their children, but it also helps guide them to the best programming available with KidZone Guides. And kids have their own area of the TiVo service, where only parent-approved programs appear.

If you’re already a TiVo nut, you might be interested in KidZone for your children.

I’ll confess: I don’t own a TiVo. I do have a DVR service through my local cable company (lovingly referred to around here as the “not-TiVo”), and my children know how to navigate the menus and call up their recorded episodes of Teen Titans and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I’ve never worried about them calling up inappropriate viewing material because… well, I pretty much only record stuff for them, anyway.

The idea that TiVo makes recommendations and “finds” things for you to watch based on your preferences has always sort of creeped me out. I mean, don’t get me wrong—it’s neat technology, for sure. But for one thing, I probably watch too much television already. For another, I’m not sure I want to know what my preferences say about me. Some things are better left undiscovered, you know?

KidZone is being endorsed by a slew of big names and industry experts. Why, it’s even gotten the thumbs-up from the Parents Television Council, the Mikey of the television world. (I’m a bit puzzled by this, as the PTC’s normal MO is to insist that nothing offensive be shown on television, ever. This seems a bit brazen of them, suggesting that parents and a filtering device would be sufficient to protect our tender youth. But no matter.)

If your interest is piqued, check out this exclusive offer from Common Sense to get a free TiVo box with a one year contract. (Already have TiVo? You can still get a free box for an additional TV in your home.) (How many TiVos does a person need, exactly? Clearly I am too much of a Luddite for this sort of thing.) And once you activate KidZone, you can give your kids the remote without worry.

Unless your kids like to smack each other with the remote. Then maybe you’ll still have to worry a little.

You’ve downloaded your favorite tunes to your iPod; maybe you’ve even downloaded a few episodes of your favorite shows. But as was revealed yesterday at the Apple “It’s Showtime!” event, now you can download whole movies to your iPod. And where better to start the revolution than with Disney? Actually—more specifically—Disney, Pixar, Touchstone and Miramax.

Great. Now my kids are going to want video iPods. I don’t even own an iPod, yet.

It’s not all kids’ films, though:

Of course, thereââ¬â¢s more to Disney than just kidsââ¬â¢ movies. The back catalog of movie titles the iTunes Store will sell include Shakespeare In Love, Good Will Hunting, The English Patient, Enemy of the State, The insider, National Treasure and O Brother Where Art Thou.

In today’s increasingly mobile society, the move towards entire films on iPods seems like a no-brainer. But some may be concerned about the quality vs. DVDs. Steve Jobs was happy to elaborate:

Movies available for download from the iTunes Store are shown at 640 x 480 resolution in ââ¬Å“near-DVD quality,ââ¬Â according to Jobs. Jobs said that if you have 5 Megabit per second broadband service ââ¬â not uncommon for cable modem users ââ¬â you can expect to download a full-length movie in roughly a half an hour.

[…]

Jobs described the audio quality as ââ¬Å“Dolby Surround.ââ¬Â Usage rights for movies purchased and downloaded from the iTunes Store are the same as the TV shows ââ¬â so you canââ¬â¢t burn them to disc, though you can share them among multiple authorized computers and video iPods. And parental controls have been updated with MPAA ratings.

Being the frugal mind that I am, my big question is this: Will the price of DVDs start coming down to compete with the iTunes downloads? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, I guess I’d better brush up on my “When I was a kid…” speeches… just so that I’m ready when the kids start begging for iPods.

It’s! Almost! Here! Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo debuts on the Cartoon Network this Friday night. Titans fans everywhere are counting down with barely-contained anticipation.

In honor of this auspicious event, TitansGo.net will reveal bonus Tokyo material every day this week, leading up to the premiere. If you haven’t seen the commercial Cartoon Network has been running this week, start by watching that. Where else are you going to see Beast Boy wearing a hawaiian shirt and flip-flops?

And while we’re all gripped by Titans-mania, maybe it’s time to start thinking about Halloween. (I know. I KNOW. It’s not even the middle of September. But now is the time to get it out of the way and make sure you get what your kid wants!) Last year our family’s discovery of Ty’s Toy Box meant two wonderful things: First, that both kids could be Teen Titans, and second, that—since those costumes weren’t available in stores—they were the envy of all of their friends.

You can check out the full array of Teen Titans costumes at Ty’s to start thinking about which one(s) best suits. My daughter opted for Raven, while my son waffled between Robin and Cyborg, finally settling on the former. In fact… I think I have a picture around here somewhere….

Oh! I do! Here they are, showing me their fighting stances:

Just try and tell me you wouldn’t have handed all of your candy over to those two.

You’re going to have to bear with me today; I don’t feel much like writing about cartoons.

My son lost his TV privileges on Friday. For a week. He’s none too thrilled about it, and the reasons why are a whole ‘nother issue for another day. If he shapes up, he’ll regain his viewing rights just in time for the Teen Titans and Avatar movies, next weekend.

But as the weekend went on, I kept seeing more and more items related to today’s anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and I found myself secretly grateful that I have a handy excuse to keep the set turned off.

I know my kids will be talking about this, some, in school. I know they’ll come home with furrowed brows and various questions, because I’ve seen it happen, other years. My kids are fairly little (and yes, I realize I’ll still be saying that until they hit high school) and I find this one of those heartaches of parenting: Having to talk to kids about stuff that tampers with their innocence.

There isn’t any good way to explain something like 9/11 to a small, trusting human who figures that the pinnacle of evil is calling someone a stupid poopyhead.

Myself, I stick to the general philosophy of following their lead, answering only what they ask, and not telling more than they need to know. But as they get older they are asking more and understanding more. It’s a difficult path to navigate, for sure.

The Young Heroes of History site has an excellent list of links to sites dealing with 9/11 from a teaching perspective. Be sure to browse through if you, like me, are feeling some trepidation about the conversations likely to happen at the dinner table tonight.

And be sure to hug your loved ones a little bit tighter, today.

I like to do movie reviews on Fridays, because I think it’s nice to head into the weekend thinking about popcorn. Er, thinking about a new movie, I meant to say. Yes.

Unfortunately, nothing has piqued my interest for this weekend, so I am left with soccer games and television and—the ultimate horror—actually having to entertain my children. Can you imagine?

However, I was poking around online and came across the preview for Season 4 of The Batman, which first aired this summer at the San Diego Comic Convention. I’ll confess: I’ve never been a big Batman fan. But I watched the clip and I have to say, I have high hopes.

See for yourself:

Batman’s new sidekick looks very familiar, doesn’t he? Is it possible that The Batman could fill the hole in my heart left from the cancellation of Teen Titans? Maybe? (Although, it did freak me out a little bit when Robin started talking and didn’t sound like, you know, Robin from TT. I’m a creature of habit.)

Season 4 debuts on the Kids’ WB on Saturday, September 23rd, at 11:30. The first episode of the new season is called “A Matter of Family.” (See the Kids’ WB site or Batman on Film for more information about the show.)

From my perspective, they had me the minute I read that Mitch Pileggi is the voice of Commissioner Gordon. I’ve been trying to find a way to get a steady fix of Pileggi ever since The X-Files ended. All the better if I can enjoy him during something my kids will want to watch!

Anyway, the addition of Robin may be just enough to get us on board. I look forward to the premiere later this month.

In the meantime, enjoy the weekend!

It’s a little odd for me to be writing about these two shows together, given that I really enjoy Avatar and really… ummmm… don’t enjoy Pokémon. But my son suffers from a slavish devotion to both shows, and it turns out that there happens to be news to share on both of them, today.

Were you feeling Avatar-deprived? Perhaps a tad Pokémon-deficient? Help is on the way, in the form of new episodes for both shows. Newsarama has the whole scoop and I have the highlights.

Are you sick of listening to me talk about the upcoming Avatar movie yet? Yes? Too bad. Newsarama’s Steve Fritz has only made me more anxious to see it:

Well, the next two-chapter installment is subtitled: “The Secret of the Fire Nation.” It will air on Friday, September 15 at 8:00 p.m. with repeats on Saturday at 8:00 p.m. and Sunday at 4:00 p.m. I have to admit I was totally blown away. It’s some of the best work DeMartino and Konietzko has done.

But the truly wonderful news is this:

As for the future of the series, inside sources at Nickelodeon assured me that Avatar will start going back to its more regular Friday night, 8:00 p.m. schedule in the very near future. There will be times when the show is pre-empted because of other specials, but it did sound like this once-a-month fix is nearing the end of its reign. About time if you asked me.

Because it seems Nickelodeon is truly pleased with the results it’s getting, not only has the network given the series a greenlight for a third season of an additional 20 episodes, but is also talking to the creators about a fourth and maybe more. According to www.TV.com. if that does happen, the war with the Fire nation will be over and a new arc will begin.

Awesome. Is it wrong for a grown woman to be daydreaming about what the next major conflict would be after the war with the Fire nation is resolved…?

Ahem.

And in begrudging “I wish it weren’t so but I guess it’s an item of note” news, not only is there a new season of Pokémon for Saturday mornings, there’s also a new “limited series” called Mystery Dungeon set to run on Friday night:

As for Mystery Dungeon, this series goes in an entirely new direction. It starts with a young boy being turned into a Pokemon himself. Now a Squirtle, he joins a Chikorita and a Charmander as part of a new rescue team. The big thing is in this series the little critters actually talk to each other, using the English language no less.

It will air this Friday, September 8, at 8:00 p.m.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this—and I’ll probably deny it later—but I actually think Mystery Dungeon sounds palatable, even if only because the Pokémon can converse instead of squeaking their names at each other ad nauseam. I’ll have to check it out and report back.

I have a lot to say about school lunches; more than would fit in this space, and probably more than you want to know, anyway. But one of my complaints about the cafeteria lunch at my kids’ school is that the lunch period is so short, it’s virtually impossible for the kids who buy to actually eat lunch once they’ve purchased it. They spend the entire period in line, and by the time they’re seated with food, the bell rings.

(There’s a comment to be made here about how this is perhaps the most merciful thing that could happen when faced with a tray of school food, but just look how I restrain myself. Sort of.)

Yesterday I read this news article about finger scanners being implemented in school cafeterias in Rome, Georgia.

“The finger’s better because all you’ve got to do is put your finger in, and you don’t have to do the number and get mixed up,” said Adrianna Harris, a second grader at Anna K. Davie Elementary School.

Okay. That sounds about right. I consider it a successful day if my kids return from school with everything they took to it in the morning, though that hardly ever happens. If they had to remember some sort of PIN to pay for food? They would be hungry children, indeed.

The new system speeds lunch lines, said city administrators. It’s being phased in to Rome High School, Rome Middle School and all the city’s elementary schools. The city hopes to have the system in use next month system-wide.

Ah, here’s where my interest is piqued. Anyone else wondering how much faster this makes the lunch lines? I mean, I’m all for speeding things up so that the poor kids can actually eat their lunches. I guess what I’m wondering is if the scanners are really on par with every cheesy sci-fi movie I’ve ever seen, and the kids simply press a finger and woosh! there’s a friendly beep and it’s on to the next kid. Or is it—as I suspect, because I’m cynical—more like, a child presses his finger, the machine gives an error, he presses again, the machine gives an error, some surly lunch lady scrubs the screen with her apron, he tries again, etc. I’d love to see some actual stats on the time improvement, is what I’m saying.

But here’s the part that has me really confused:

Some parents are uneasy with having their children’s fingerprints scanned, and wonder about how well the information is secured.

Um. Let’s assume for the sake of argument that the information isn’t being kept secure. (I’m sure that it is, but play along with “worst case scenario” with me, won’t you?) The information is… available, somehow. What exactly do these parents think someone is going to be able to do with a scan of their children’s fingerprints? Are they worried about identity theft of their 6-year-olds? Someone cloning the kids’ fingertips and emptying their lunch accounts with their unrelenting chocolate milk habit? Teachers IDing pranksters via prints? What, exactly?

Well, regardless, I say this is a great step ahead in technology. Sure, there’s cancer and famine and war out there, but at least kids can pay for their lunches with fingerprints.

[image courtesy of Digital Persona]

It’s an obvious premise for a cartoon: Two brightly-colored rabbit siblings set out to battle evil through the ancient martial art of something called Woo Foo. Obviously.

I’d like to tell you more, but for some bizarre reason I cannot get the tune to “Little Bunny Foofoo” out of my head. Huh. Weird.

This is one of those shows where I have to grudgingly admit that my initial thoughts (”It’s what, now? Because why?”) may have been a bit hasty. Ying Yang Yo! debuted yesterday on Disney’s JETIX and the critics are digging it. And heaven knows we’ve been battling a critical shortage of martial arts-themed cartoons….

Toon Zone’s Alex Weitzman shares his (favorable) thoughts on the premiere, first lauding the cast:

I must spend some time on the cast. As reported in earlier articles, the cast for Yin Yang Yo! are all Canucks. Whatever it is they’re putting in the free health care, it’s giving these guys some great new energy and there’s already a few standout performances in just this episode. Tony Daniels stole the show as Ultimoose, giving a hilariously overcharged performance that somehow fits the Napoleonic stature and attitude of the jerk. Scott McCord and Stephanie Morgenstern, as Yang and Yin respectively, make nice first impressions in their lead roles. Kudos especially to Stephanie, who has to be the more mature of the two and therefore leans towards the more boring lines, as she lends her character a nice edge of sarcasm and has great comic timing. Additionally, Jamie Watson’s Carl the Evil Cockroach Wizard, while undeniably reminiscent of Paul Lynde and other dandies, has the makings of a very memorable ineffective villain. Good acting is crucial to animation, as it will always elevate the material several levels higher, and so Yin Yang Yo! is poised to remain solid on this front as the show continues.

And then, later, surveying the big picture:

Ultimately, the show succeeds. I wonder at the ability of the show to manage the balance of tones between action and comedy, as the two varieties of cinematic storytelling require two very different brands of tension within the audience. Action restrains tension, bottling it up; laughter releases tension, letting it drain out. So far, the show’s pendulum seems to swing more in the direction of the latter, allowing several of the action beats to be gags in and of themselves, releasing the tension that it would under other circumstances contain. The show’s got a good pedigree for comedy, under Steve Marmel’s writing lead, and some of his characteristic comic economy comes amusingly into play.

I hate to admit it, but it sounds… good. We’ll be checking it out (7:30 PM Eastern on weeknights).

But I still wish I knew how to get rid of this “Little Bunny Foofoo” earworm.

Hey, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be taking the day off of work, enjoying your family, and charring some meat in your backyard. It’s your right as an American. (What? You’re not American? Oh. Nevermind, then. You can be here. But you might want to see if you know any Americans who want you to come over and eat with them, today.)

There are a lot of sites out there that’ll tell you how to have a safe and enjoyable barbecue even with your kids around, and I dunno, I think it’s a lot of information to process, particularly if you’re sort of busy trying to make a salad. So I got to thinking that I could probably do a little summary for you, and then you’d be good to go without having to visit a billion other sites. Sound good?

Please bear in mind that I am not a trained professional, merely a mother myself and a lifelong smartmouth.

Food: Make sure to have food your kids like. Such as brownies. Oh, did you want them to eat some real food, first? Okay. Have hotdogs. What’s that? Okay, fine. Put out carrot sticks. But if you have hotdogs and brownies, your kids aren’t going to eat carrots, no matter how optimistic you are.

Games: While the adults are busy drinking beer and swapping recipes, children can be sent off to amuse themselves with bubbles, frisbees, or a puppy. I do not recommend buying a puppy purely for party entertainment, however.

Pool Safety: Do not allow children to be around a pool unattended. There should always be a few people present to point and laugh when they fall in. And, you know, pull them out if they don’t actually know how to swim.

Including Junior in the preparations: You don’t want your kids to feel left out while you prepare for your event, so feel free to give them brooms, mops, dusters, or whatever other tasks they’ll wish had never been invented. Everybody pitches in! Letting your toddler man the grill is, in general, not a good idea. But people tend to think it’s cute if you let him do the vacuuming.

You’re now totally ready to host a barbecue and maybe even keep an eye on your children at the same time. See how easy that was?

Enjoy the holiday!

I once had this dog that would bark his head off about just about everything. It was irritating, but it always left the door open for my favorite joke (which never ceased to make me giggle, though the dog didn’t seem to find it funny): Whassamatter, boy? Did Timmy fall down the well?

I was, as I’m sure you can imagine, crushed to learn that Jon Provost (the actor who played Timmy in the old series) “set the record straight on one bit of Lassie folklore: the dog never went barking to Timmy’s mom to warn her that the boy had fallen down a well.”

Hmph.

I’ve now also learned that the original Lassie story was not about an idyllic California ranch, but set in dark times of struggle. This film is much more in keeping with the original story than the television show many of us remember from our youth.

Regardless, the newest incarnation of Lassie takes center stage as the movie opens today, and it has already earned the highest positive rating I’ve ever seen over at Rotten Tomatoes. The critics are nearly unanimous: It’s a hit.

I’m particularly intrigued by this observation:

Yes, they’re still making a few timeless, sentimental family films the way they used to - with no CGI.

No CGI? Is that even allowed, anymore?

Just keep in mind:

Lassie is a thoroughly enjoyable family film of the sort that they really donââ¬â¢t make anymore. However, be warned, if you take young children to see this you may find yourself getting a border collie for Christmas.

I think we’re about to discover an old new favorite, and I can’t wait.

But I still reserve the right to make jokes about Timmy falling down the well.